Compassionate, emotionally-focused, and effective
Couples Therapy in Michigan
Hi, my name is Ashley Weigl, and I’m a couples therapist in Michigan.
You may be feeling distant from your partner. It feels like you’re having the same discussions over and over again, and that you’re just not getting to the root of the issue. Sometimes, things flare up and both of you end up feeling frustrated and alone. You find yourself wondering how it got to be this way, and if there’s even a way out. So many couples get stuck in this place. Couples therapy can help.
I help couples to find their way back to themselves and to each other. It is possible to find that secure connection again.
Michigan couples therapy: my approach
I specialize in working with couples using a type of therapy called Emotionally-focused therapy (EFT). It’s based on the science of bonding in adult attachment relationships.
When we are in conflict with our partners, we tend to put on our suits of armor to protect ourselves. This makes sense, because it feels so scary and vulnerable to be in conflict! These suits of armor can show up in several ways: distancing, growing cold and quiet or even leaving, pursuing our partners and endlessly wanting to “talk it out”, or becoming critical and angry.
The vicious cycle
A common place to get stuck is in some version of a vicious cycle: where one partner’s distancing triggers the other’s pursuing or critical tendencies, which exacerbate the distancing, and so on. Both partners are left feeling helpless, frustrated, and alone. But there is hope! Underneath our suits of armor are very practical, important human needs to be met: for secure, loving connection with our partners. When we put our suits on, it’s hard to even notice those needs, let alone ask for them to be met out loud!
A new cycle
With EFT, the goal is to replace the vicious cycle with a more expansive and positive one. To do this, we have to bring the cycle alive together, in real time. In sessions, we stay in the emotional “channel.” We don’t spend as much time on the “what,” but rather the “how.”
This means how you’re relating to one another, how you view yourself and your partner, and how each of you elicit responses in the other. Our suits of armor can be removed in an intentional and safe way. We are able to slow down enough to notice our own needs, maybe even for the first time, and ask for them to be met in more effective ways.
My role - how I help
I see my role as a relationship and process consultant. In couples therapy, the relationship itself is my client. Positive outcomes in couples therapy are predicted by how engaged couples are in the process and their shared goals, NOT the level of distress they’re in when they start therapy.
If you and your partner are feeling ready to do this work together, it would be my privilege to help you get there. I look forward to seeing your name on my calendar to talk through working together. Click the button below to find a time.
Rupture and disconnection are an inevitable and normal part of every relationship.
The opportunities for strengthening our bond and growing together lie in our efforts to repair.
step 1
Schedule a no-cost, 20 minute consult with me by clicking the ‘get started’ button below.
step 2
We will meet on a video call. You can ask any questions you have and share more about what you’ve been experiencing. Your partner will join, too, for couples work.
step 3
If we decide we’re a good fit to work together, we will schedule your first session during our call. I’ll send you new client paperwork to complete in the meantime.
FAQs
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Emotionally focused therapy is a particularly effective form of couples therapy. Studies show that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and 90% significantly improve their relationship. With shared goals, and commitment to fully engage in this work, it can be tremendously effective.
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Yes! I work with all couples utilizing this same modality, irrespective of their marital status. In my work, “couples therapy” and “marriage counseling” are interchangeable terms.
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Many (perhaps most!) couples come to therapy with a concern around communication challenges, and emotional distance is also a common feature. Some couples are simply looking for a deeper connection and level of emotional intimacy. Emotionally-focused therapy deals with the here and now, and emphasizes how you are relating to one another. Couples therapy also addresses attachment injuries or betrayals during key moments of need that may have happened earlier in the relationship.
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Great question! Part of our work together will include assessing your respective goals and determining if this style of therapy will help you to meet them. You can trust I will offer an honest and realistic assessment, and that begins in our very first call.
Get support from an Ann Arbor couples therapist. You can get unstuck and find your way